Stroke - A Life-changing 5 Years! — Colin Phillimore

I knew I was still there, somewhere, as I came round on the ward at the Bournemouth Stroke Unit. A Sunday afternoon DJ on Hospital Radio bizarrely segued Manic Street Preachers’: Design for Life (88 beats per minute) into a really cheesy 1970’s Hit, Peter Shelley’s ‘Love Me Love My Dog’(128 bpm!) - try mixing one to another, it actually works!

Now this might not mean much to you, but as a DJ since the age of 14 and a fanatical Rock and Pop fan of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s you notice these things, and………in my post Stroke state it was the first indicator that the ‘old me’ was still there, somewhere.

**THE AWAKENING**

Saturday morning I’d hit the deck - you can read about it here I’ll try not to repeat myself, but when you’ve been zapped by a Stroke, poured the contents of a urine bottle over you at 2.00am in the morning because your bursting and there’s no place to go (thanks for cleaning me up James!) and you can hear the nurse asking your partner over the phone if you’d been drinking or taking recreational drugs (strict protocol I’m sure) well any pointers that the old self is still there is something to hold on to.
I’ve said my thanks previously to those involved in the initial days: friends, family, colleagues, stroke survivors. I engaged with 15 different units/organisations within the *Stroke RightCare Pathway* and thanks to the community physio and rehab teams, out-patients physio, Zeinab - an excellent private physio recommended by friends, Helen a local mobile masseur - and a natural determination to problem solve, research and engage, I gradually recovered………
Well recovered some of me and discovered the new, affected me. Slurred speech, weak left side, walking stick, staring eyes and over-extended speech.

So relieved was I to be able to walk that I found myself instantaneously breaking into a smile whenever I ventured out - however tentatively.

Gradually I came to accept that I’d had a life changing brain injury, not to be defeatist, but to focus my energy on the fact that I could do things - FULL STOP the temptation to say “BUT (not like I used to)” had to go!

This is it folks - take me as I am and who I will now become!

I’ve written and performed my poetry for years and felt it helpful in processing and ordering thoughts and emotions - the Cerebellar controls our emotional response - I was changed, my writing changed, but something was still there!

This first #poststrokepoem captures a moment in time:

I Thought I Would Break

I thought I would break

as I took those first

tentative,

testing and

trusting steps.

Thrusting my chest,

my shoulders

my hips upwards, outwards

and onwards.

Life with the Choke permanently open,

“Volume up to 11” you said.

_________________

I thought I might break

as I ventured out to familiar places

to re-connect and re-assure those

caring and concerned faces.

I was determined to Vote,

the furthest I’d walked

with a stick,

examining ironwork on the pavements beneath and ahead of me

watching out for every rise or fall,

large Ductile or small,

drain-hole cover, kerb and driveway.

Adjusting my stride, planting my faltering feet

one-in-front-of-the-other.

Engaging that part of the brain

that could re-train

the Me I had lost.

_________________

I thought I had broken,

but that dogged determination decided that

I would return

to corners

and fields

and coastlines

to physically -

if not emotionally - enjoy being alive.

Not even my inner demons could destroy the fire that burns within me,

even though I can't feel the heat!

I plant my striding feet

one in front of the other, as I always have.

_________________

And I still

haven’t

broken!

Colin Phillimore 6.5-13.10.21.

In the Different Strokes organisation I found empathy and understanding, the Southampton group - with coordinators Jo, Ranj and Andy - kept it light, honest and realistic as 6 or 9 or 12 shared online in our little Zoom dollshouse. Box by box we shared our recent gains and continued frustrations:

“Robin!.....(wait)..........Robin!” Dave had been for a walk, and seen a Robin! No one spoke for him, or over him, yes Dave had seen a “Robin!” and it was good to be alive! Still!!

Following on from these sessions I was asked to be a representative on the Wessex ISDN (Integrated Stroke Delivery Network). I was determined to eventually establish a DS group in my local area. At the time - post Lockdown remember - there wasn’t a group between Southampton and……Totnes in Devon!

I was still struggling with awful #fatigue ……………..

FATIGUE FATIGUE FATIGUE FATIGUE - no not being tired, FATIGUE!!!! It’s a killer and looks like………this:

In the summer of 2022 I was watching a lot of athletics, one of my sports. I truly believe my experience of repeating 200 metre sprints, bunny hops and the individual focus of competing, enabled me to engage fully in the rehab process.

But throughout the World Championships, Tokyo Olympics and Commonwealth Games, commentators and analysts kept referring to athletes carrying ‘fatigue’ in their bodies from one championship to another? It was the same with cycling - the Giro d’Italia and the Tour de France - fatigue.

Surely with all the scientific progress in ‘marginal gains’ in sport somebody had written about this all pervasive condition?!

A very quick Google search led me to an answer: keep exercising at a lower level and take Vitamin B6 (and 12) and CoQ10 supplements. Well I wasn’t doing much aerobic exercise anyway and I wasn’t one for taking supplements, but inspired by the beauty and ability of finely tuned athletes I signed up to the NHS Couch25K app and bought the Wellman supplements (other brands available!) that contain both of the above.

From 1 August 2022, I truly noticed an instant change. I’m not making any scientific claim, but as I started Week 1 of Couch25K with Denise Lewis as my coach, I noticed a difference.

5 minute warm up walk to the local Recreation Ground,
7 sets of 60 Seconds of running at whatever pace
and 90 seconds of walking in between

and I was on the way.

I found myself continuing to retrain my brain to move my legs and whole body and therefore with the necessity of breathing properly and rerouting those neural pathways, I have not had the crushing effects of FATIGUE since.

Through the late summer and Autumn I progressed week by week to run for 35 minutes/ 5 kilometres and met the goal I had set of running my first Park Run 5K on 1 October, just two months after starting. The Bournemouth Supa Nova, the Poole Movember 5K, the Southampton RunThrough Festival followed.

Runninge 5B2926F7-0DA6-40E5-86CF-A25F750A1FA3.jpg

**Different Strokes Pals**

Paying to run in community 5K’s gave me the incentive to continue through wind and rain as well as glorious sunny sessions and I took the opportunity to raise money for **University Hospitals Dorset** **Walkerbot campaign** for the Bournemouth Stroke Unit. In December 2022 it was my delight to present a cheque to the **Different Strokes Southampton** group at their Christmas get together. Their support had meant so much to me in those early days of panic and unsurety.
***BUT it is really important at this stage to point out that I’m no superhero here!***

**Re-learning old familiar things**

From April 2023 I hit a wall, the common cold demanded that my brain focus on IT for a couple of weeks and I didn’t run again until July - starting all over again with Couch25K helped me get back up to pace.
My last Park Run was in October 2023 a year after my first and then I really struggled until the late summer of 2024 when I had a new fundraising target with some friends who supported the Poole Young Carers group - once again the Bournemouth *Supanova* 5K in October 2024.
AND I’ve just started AGAIN after a very wet and windy winter, recovering from supporting our elderly Mum through a broken hip (and replacement) at 98! Then finally, in March 2025, end of life care and the associated grief that followed.

So if I’ve learnt anything about being in “the club that no one wants to be a member of”, it’s that you just have to keep ****** going!!!!!

Everybody’s Stroke is unique and with it everybody’s progress, small victories are just as important to them, than the seemingly huge achievements of others. Someone’s first tentative steps, struggling determinedly to the letterbox, the garden gate, the corner shop are a huge achievement after what we’ve experienced and how we’ve responded.

Fortunately (!) as a freelance artist I was able to return to work gradually and with amazing support from my tutor complete my Level 4 Trinity College Certificate in Early Years Music that I’d started in 2019 just before Lockdown, this photo features my love for recorded music, the guitar I needed to learn to play again after 40 years and props from my work with music and babies.

**ME AND KIRSTY - DIFFERENT STROKES GROUP POOLE**

And in November 2024 I was able to achieve the goal of starting a Different Strokes group in my area, thanks to Kirsty Radley having the same aspiration having just relocated to the area .
**Different Strokes Poole** meets every third Tuesday of the month and just this morning I’ve received a stack of DS leaflets with our group’s details printed on them and our mugshots as co-ordinators-an uncanny cycle!
You can contact me or Kirsty via our **Facebook page** or email us at: **poole@differentstrokes.co.uk**

I’m always available to share my Stroke journey or be a Guinea Pig for students or the latest gadget. Thanks again to everyone that has been with me on my journey so far. Who knows what the future holds? But hey!

“Onwards and sidewards - and just keep ****** going!!!!!”

Email:colphillimore@gmail.com

Website: colinphillimore.co.uk

Colin Phillimore, 24 April 2026 5 Years Post Stroke!

Stroke - A Life-changing 5 Years!

EX-TRA Erasmus Plus Training, Normandie December 2021